A Facebook post today inspired me to do something I rarely do, write a 2nd post (though this one will be short). But instead of this being left to a comment buried in Facebook, I felt it important enough to blog it for sharing at other times as well.
A friend who was just recently married posted an article about how tough the first year is. While the article was good, I believe it missed the main point. That is that the thing that made you GET married, will not be the same that will help you STAY married.
You see, everyone gets married for selfish reasons really. She makes me feel this way, he makes me laugh that way, etc. This is not bad or wrong, it just is. When we feel a certain way around that special someone, it draws us close. At some point in that courting/dating season, you decide… wow, I want to spend the rest of my life with this amazing person. This is a very normal and wonderful story.
However, if the only thing that binds you together is that ‘feeling’ you get from your husband or wife, then eventually that will fail. What will KEEP you together is changing from a selfish approach to the relationship to a selfless one. When you change from the feelings you get around your husband or wife, or the things they do for you… and you move to the true agape love that Christ talks about, then you will now seek to serve your spouse.
The trick of serving your spouse is to serve them in a way they they recognize. There is a great book called The Five Love Languages that goes more into this. Serve your spouse in the language they understand and they in turn will learn to serve you in a way that you understand. Now you end up with a selfless relationship of serving. When you develop this kind of love, nothing on this earth can break you apart.