This kind of “Pro” has two meanings, the first is professional. To be a professional at anything takes practice. You make mistakes but seek to learn and grow from those mistakes. You strive to better yourself with each mistake and each experience. A professional capitalizes on those learning opportunities to improve.
When it comes to your marriage, be willing to learn and grow through the mistakes you will make. Make yourself better, be a better spouse each time you grow through your own mistakes. As a result of you becoming a better spouse, you will serve your spouse better.
The second meaning is proactive. Most challenges in a relationship begin when people are reactive instead of proactive to the things around them. We are reactive by nature but can become more proactive by developing the proper habits. Make an effort to apply these new habits in your life and your relationships will improve.
We have filters on our eyes and ears every day. Not physical filters but mental ones that impact how we receive various input into our brains. All day long these filters change due to stress at work, how you physically feel, what’s on your mind at the time, etc. More times than we care to count, these filters cause us to misinterpret the messages that our loved ones are trying to send us.
Since we are reactive by nature, we don’t think about these filters and find ourselves ‘reacting’ to a message that was never intended in the first place. But if we are ‘proactively’ conscious of these filters, we can learn to recognize that the message was received improperly.
The next time you feel rubbed the wrong way by something a loved one said or done, don’t react… be proactive. Say “Honey, I must be stressed or distracted about other things that caused me to misunderstand what you just said and I was bothered by it. I’m focused just on you now, can you please restate it now that you have my full attention”.
This kind of response will usually result in one of two responses. Either they will realize that what they said may have had a harsh tone or poor message and they will rethink their own delivery. Or they will be surprised that you misinterpreted but respect you for being proactive and restate it again. Either way, you should now receive an entirely different message.
There’s always room for improvement if you focus on building your family His way.
His Family Ministries